Well school has just gotten 10 times worse! I just started the fall quarter and all ready I am sick of it! My classes are all very hard and I with work I am cannot figure out when I am going to have the time for a second job. what’s bad is I need a second job just to make ends meet...so it comes to which is more important school or living...with gas prices and my car payment and school payment it has just gotten too hard and I am trying to do it all and it is turning into one big mess. I have been trying to cut corners ever way I know possible...but at work I am not getting as many hours due to lack of people to call and it is really hurting me...I know though that I have to get a degree or I will be a failure. I think what makes me more upset is that just to survive I have to have 2 jobs but someone else can live comfortably off of welfare and sit on their butts while I pay for their kids crap. Something that bothers me about welfare is the link card system...here ya go a card where you can withdrawal money! Take some go buy you beer, or drugs. But before I end I must say I have seen people who are trying to make it and who use link in the correct way.  

I have finally found a free moment in my busy day to write a blog. I am coming closer to the end of my college career and I find myself wondering if I am really done with RMC. Springfield just got the masters program and everyone is pressuring me to continue on with it. The thought of more school churns my stomach but I know that it will be something that will make me stand out from the rest of the world. But, I think that my character and hard work can do that too. I also know that if I wait too long to go on I will either 1. Not want to go back to school at all or 2. Missed the excellent faculty that I am know and love and I will be faced with all new teachers. until I graduate I will be doing some major soul searching.

I am going to done with school this December and I will say I am a little scared. I am excited but when I think about my education coming to an end I have to wonder what’s next. I hope to find a good job that will cover my expenses. But with the recent economy and how things are going in the job market I cannot help but be a little worried. I have been going to school since I was maybe 6 years old, however old I was when I started preschool. Now I am 20 and will have my bachelor’s right before I turn 21. So that is a lot of years of education. Now that’s going to be taken away from me. Could school be my security blanket? When I think of that idea I think it is ridiculous. But, when I left elementary school I remember not wanting to go to middle school. When I left middle school I did not want to go to Jr. High. My first day of high school I wanted to throw up. On my first day of college I thought that there was a chance that I may not be able to do it. I remember my first day at RMC very well. My business teacher scared me and I didn’t have any faith in myself. But then I had a class in one of the rooms that has a quote on the wall. The quote says, "Some succeed because they are destined too, but most succeed because they are determined too". From there on out I was determined to succeed even if all bets were against me. Not to long ago I met up with an old friend for coffee and she said something to me that changed my life. She said, " Rachel if you would have told me that you were going to study abroad and be an A student, I would have laughed at you. You have amazed me with your determination to succeed and you motivate me to do the same". What is important to note here is that just because no one expects anything from you doesn’t mean you should think the same of yourself. You should always expect the best from yourself, be your hardest teacher and never settle for less.

So to sum up everything I guess that I should stop this cycle of me being scared of the unknown. I have been doing it ever since I was in elementary school and every time things got better.